No marriage is happy all of the time. Like all relationships, there are ups and downs. But when you do fight, happy marriages listen to each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs. In fact, some of the happiest couples she has worked with “have weathered hard times.” So if you and your spouse sometimes argue, or are going through a rough patch, this does not necessarily mean you are in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it probably means you’re normal.
Focus on each other’s strengths.
It’s not always easy to see past minor annoyances, and at times you may even hate your partner. But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations. For example, if you’re better with numbers, don’t get angry when they misbalance the checkbook. Instead, make it your job to set the budget. If their strength is cooking, they can manage meal planning instead. Using our strengths on a daily basis is associated with greater well-being. And when we help our partner use their strengths we experience more relational satisfaction.
While it’s important to not fully depend on your partner in order to maintain a happy marriage, it’s also necessary to share common experiences. Injecting new activities and interests into your relationship can strengthen the bond.
When couples share a unique passion, or learn a skill together—such as take a cooking class, or tennis lessons—they evolve together. Happy couples have a zest for life with each other. Whether it’s a love of travel, a strong desire to build a family together, or a dedication to a common cause, these experiences enrich their relationship.
Focus on each other’s strengths.
It’s not always easy to see past minor annoyances, and at times you may even hate your partner. But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations. For example, if you’re better with numbers, don’t get angry when they misbalance the checkbook. Instead, make it your job to set the budget. If their strength is cooking, they can manage meal planning instead. Using our strengths on a daily basis is associated with greater well-being. And when we help our partner use their strengths we experience more relational satisfaction.
While it’s important to not fully depend on your partner in order to maintain a happy marriage, it’s also necessary to share common experiences. Injecting new activities and interests into your relationship can strengthen the bond.
When couples share a unique passion, or learn a skill together—such as take a cooking class, or tennis lessons—they evolve together. Happy couples have a zest for life with each other. Whether it’s a love of travel, a strong desire to build a family together, or a dedication to a common cause, these experiences enrich their relationship.
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